Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Social Calendar

My social calendar has been all but nonexistent for the last...oh...25 years really. Who remembers what their "social calendar" looked like at six years old anyways? Hahaa

Anyways. We got a newsletter from our city in the mail the other day. I looked through the calendar on it and circled everything I wanted to try to do. There are Farmer's Markets, Classic Car Days, "Junk In Your Trunk" sale days (I want to participate in that!!!), among other things. I wrote everything that I wanted to do at least one time this summer on the calendar. If I can pull it off, I might actually have some sort of semblance of a social calendar! will be all by my lonesome...well, just me and the kids mostly...and occasionally my husband. Go figure!

God bless...

Thursday, April 26, 2012

And a couple of pictures for good measure!

Be sure to visit the update posted just before these photos, but enjoy!

Julia playing outside with daddy...

Justin being the adorable little man he is!

I so adore my kids...they make me smile...

God bless...

Productive couple of days over here...

Monday and Tuesday I felt really good about what I got done! Actually, I felt like a freaking mad But I got a lot accomplished.

What was on Monday's 'To-Do' list: Vacuum downstairs, dust, clean the half bath, dishes, stuff diapers, vacuum stairs, organize coupons that were on the fridge, and try to do one bedroom cleaning project. The only things that I did NOT get done was cleaning the half bath and the one bedroom cleaning project.

What was on Tuesday's 'To-Do' list: Wash diapers, dishes, clean 1/2 bath (since I didn't do it Monday), one bedroom cleaning project, sweep, wipe down counters/stove/table/microwave, strip bed and wash sheets. The only things that I didn't get done Tuesday was washing diapers and the one bedroom cleaning project.

I that bedroom up is going to be the bane of my existence!!!

I took yesterday off. I didn't do a darn thing. Michael washed diapers last night, and he did the dishes...'s 'To-Do' list is as follows (so far): Empty/reload dishwasher, wash bottles, sweep, vacuum the whole house (at the very LEAST I need to vacuum upstairs since the downstairs was done on Monday), clean the full bathroom. I'm sure I'll be adding more, but I felt pretty good for a little while on Monday and Tuesday. Unfortunately, it was short lived...which is why I took yesterday off from productivity! Ha!

God bless!

Monday, April 23, 2012

I know, I know...

I keep changing my blog title. I really think this one will stick, though! I will be in the learning phase of life indefinitely, but I really feel like "Attached at the Heart" is more...ME...

God bless

Friday, April 20, 2012

The New Me

*Warning: This is long...and it's a lot of me, me, me...*

At the beginning of the year, I decided I was going to do a few different things. I wanted to learn my camera better, took on a 52 week project, and I wanted to do something that would make me a better person. Something that would help me find a better life balance within me. Well, unfortunately, I failed miserably at what I wanted to do. Now, I'm starting over. And this might help to explain a few things that went unsaid back in January.

I have what one might call an obsessive personality. Now, when I say that, I don't mean that I obsess over every little thing, but when something gets under my skin...I can't get it to go away without drastic measures. I really feel that I have mild O.C.D. as well. Some things have to be "just so", or they drive me NUTTY. I have gone behind Michael numerous times to put things back 'where they go', or how they were. This little quirk of mine has worked both in my favor, and totally against me in the past. I'm going to make it work in my favor this time. For good. For me. For my husband. For my kids...for my FAMILY. They deserve better from me, and I know that.

I also have what you might call a somewhat needy personality. I need encouragement. I need reinforcement. I need to be noticed. I need to be recognized for what I've accomplished in a non-physical way. I need the 'little things'. I need to feel needed, wanted, loved, appreciated. I crave it. If I don't get that...well, I feel totally useless. I slip into depression. Albeit mild most times. Other times I question whether I've made the right decisions in my life. If I've in fact lived the way I'm supposed to. Then I see my kids, and I wonder why I even questioned it.

It hit me last night. There are so many things that I want and need to do around the house, and just in general, but I have a terrible time getting myself motivated to do them. These are little things that would probably take no more than 10 minutes to do. For some reason, I just. can't. do them. I walked into my bedroom last night and wanted to cry. There was a handful of projects sitting there that I *could* have done, but didn't. One problem that I have is that if I don't think I can get it completely finished in one setting, I won't do it. Well...with two kids on the move, it's virtually impossible to get a project done from start to finish in one sitting. Unless Michael is home. Even then I'd almost rather spend my time numbing my mind on my computer just because the days are emotionally draining sometimes.

As I entered that room, I saw the laundry basket full of clean clothes (mostly mine) that had been sitting there for a week and a half. Yes...a week and a half. I couldn't put my clothes away. Then, there's the small pile of clothes along the wall on my side of the bed. Mostly made up of a few items that have only been worn once, but again...too lazy to put them away. There were the clothes at the foot of the bed on my side that I hadn't yet put away. The piles of stuff on my dresser...the piles of stuff on my nightstand. The bags of get the idea. I felt like a failure. Like I didn't deserve the family I have. I am SO BLESSED to have my husband and my kids. But I've started taking them for granted again. I don't like that one bit. So...I'm going to change. I have to do it for me. I have to hold myself accountable.

One of my biggest weaknesses is my computer. I live on this thing. Facebook. BabyCenter. Pinterest. Blogger. Yahoo. Swagbucks (well, that one has paid off a few times!). I've tried to "give up" my computer numerous times. Then I hit a wall during the day, and I just cave. I have to stop. I'm not giving it up anymore, but I'm going to limit it a LOT. I want to cut back so far, and I want to replace the time that I would have been on the computer with cleaning, crocheting, playing with the kids, and reading. Now that I can make it out of the house with both kids in a relatively short amount of time, I want to take them places. Do things with them. Get them to know their mommy. I want them to understand that there doesn't always have to be some electronic device attached to our lap or our hands. I want them to love me, to know me, to understand me, trust me, and respect me. I don't want to be "that mom" that always has to yell at her kids because they're interrupting something *I* want to be doing. It's not about me anymore. It's about my family. THEY are what matters.

I will start working out again. Maybe not every day. Maybe not even three times a week...but I WILL do it,  and I've started eating more healthy. I need to feel good in my body in order to feel good about myself. My self esteem has tanked in the last few days. Mainly just because my mind runs wild and I think things that probably aren't even true. It's amazing what amount of power your mind has, though...I really don't like to feel like a failure, and only I can eliminate that feeling and make that change permanent.

My last blog post was about staying with my sister. It really helped me to realize exactly what I'm capable of. So, I will harness that feeling, coupled with the feeling of complete uselessness from when I walked into my bedroom last night, and I'm going to run with it.

Today, I worked on a crochet project that has taken 100 times longer than it should have, I swept the floors, cleaned off the table, and painted some cute little toe nails while the little boy was sleeping. I felt pretty good for a few minutes! I'm hoping to keep that going.

So...until next time...
God Bless...

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Travels: With Children

Picture that title like the Married: With Children TV show logo. 'Cause that's exactly how I'm seeing it in my mind!

OK. On to the story!

A while back, my sister offered to be a surrogate for someone close to me. Now, since every woman in our family seems to be fertile Myrtile, and it was through IVF that she became pregnant, we were all pretty convinced that she would get pregnant with at least twins. Well, guess what! She did in fact become pregnant with twins! How cool is that? This couple will be doubly blessed when these babies arrive.

Anyways...with a twin pregnancy, I was relatively certain that bed rest would become a part of it, and/or that my sister would be as big as a house and would need someone to drive her places, clean for her, cook for her, etc. When the twin aspect was verified, I offered to stay with her to give her a hand for a while. Originally, I was only going to stay for two weeks, but that wound up changing to four weeks. Michael wasn't exactly happy about it because he would only see the kids on weekends or on nights that he could come by after work. I wasn't worried about it. I thought it would be fine! My sister and I were thinking "Sweet! We'll get to hang out, do some baking, and chat a lot!" You a mini-vacation! Yeah...not so much!!! LOL

Each Sunday night consisted of basically packing up half of the house. Two suitcases - the big one for clothes/blankets for the three of us, the small one...just for all things diaper! Cloth diapers for day time, disposable diapers for over night, wipes, creams, etc. -  a booster seat (I had both seats with me the first week), the activity center (I left it there after the first weekend), toys, the potty chair, both gates, two pack n plays, my pump, laptop, camera, purse, crochet get the idea. I got as much put in my car on Sunday night as possible. A select few items got thrown in the car Monday.

Monday mornings were actually somewhat easy. I got up early, loaded up what I could before the kids woke up, then got Julia's breakfast ready. As soon as she was done eating, I changed both kids, got them dressed, loaded them into the car and took off!

Now is when the adventure REALLY starts. Haha! When I got to her house, I had to unload all the stuff out of my car. Thankfully, her hubby was there to help me. The whole unpacking/getting organized/settling in thing took, oh, about 2 hours. (Remember...I'm dealing with a 2 year old and a 8/9 month old in the process of ALL of this!). The three of us all slept in one room. Me in the bed (MOST of the time alone), Justin in the small pack n play, and Julia in the larger pack n play. Let me tell you...the first couple of nights were NOT very amusing! LOL Any time Justin woke up, Julia woke up, and vice verse. It was horrendous. But, I was excited to be there with my sister so that made it all worth it! I mean, I spend my time talking to a toddler and an infant all. day. long. I finally had some adult interaction in my days!!! Woohoo!!!

Through the week, I had to take care of both kiddos, my sister, and her daughter - when she got home from school - oh, and myself. It was stressful, but I was so happy to be able to help her out in that way. Being on bed rest, she wasn't supposed to do more than lay on the couch unless she was going to the bathroom or showering. I had to get her food, her meds, drinks, you name it. I also had to make some dinner each night. I was able to tackle more day in and day out being responsible for three kids and two adults than I do in a normal day in my own house! What's wrong with that picture??? Haha

Typical day: Wake up (hopefully before the kids...yeah, that didn't really happen). Get out of bed and hop on the computer for some quiet "me" time before Hurricanes Julia and Justin woke up. Get interrupted by either a screaming baby or a screaming toddler. Get them up. My sis, her hubby, and my niece all get up. I get breakfast and medications/vitamins for my sister, and if I'm lucky...breakfast for myself, too! Get breakfast for Julia started, make a bottle for Justin, and attempt to eat. Change a couple of diapers, get the kids dressed. Let the kids play a bit while I still try to squeeze in a little computer time. Get a snack for my sis. Change a couple of diapers again. Nap time for Justin! He screams. A lot. I ignore him mostly (cut me some slack!). I check in on him after 5 minutes a few times, then he finally sleeps. Oh, it's lunch time! Lunch for me, my sis, and for Julia. Mine waits. Justin wakes up. Get him up and change a couple diapers again. Little man is hungry, so I make him a bottle. Put Julia down for a nap. She screams. A lot more than Justin did. I ignore her too...mostly. Get a snack for my sis. Somewhere in there, I manage to give Justin some solids and a handful of puffs (the kid LOVES those things) twice a day. Julia wakes up. I get her up, change a couple diapers. Justin gets super crabby because he's getting tired. I put him down for a nap. I ask "when do I get to take a nap???" (hahahahaha). Snack time for Julia! She's content with some goldfish and her milk most of the time. She's crabby. Whiny. Clingy. Yay! Justin wakes up. Change a couple diapers, get him another bottle, and start thinking about dinner! Another snack for my sister. Empty and reload the dishwasher. Oh! My niece is home! Sweet! She can entertain the kids so I can finish cooking! WOOOOOHOOO! Julia gets wound tighter than a top (it was HILARIOUS to see her so excited and having such a good time!) Dinner is done, we sit down to eat. Julia refuses most of the time. Get dinner cleaned up, change a couple of diapers and bed time ensues. OYE VE. Bed time was horrendous for the first two weeks, really. But oh well! That was really how each day went. There were slight variations, but all in was constant moving for me. There were times that I let one or both kids sit on the floor and cry so that I could sit down for a minute. :-)

When Friday rolled around, I had to pack everything back up again, and load it into my car between breakfasts, lunches, dinners, naps, etc. It usually took darn near all day to get everything ready to go. Then, after dinner I would load up the kiddies and head back home.

I'm not going to lie. It was hard. I missed my husband. But I LOVED being there with my sister. Hanging out with her, my brother-in-law and my niece made it a lot easier to handle. We had a lot of good conversations, and having Michael stop by occasionally kind of lessened the "blow" for the kids. They missed their daddy like crazy, but they did so well. I really enjoyed spending time with my sister, but when I got home to my felt wonderful! It has also made me realize that I can do ANYTHING I want. Anything I need to. Anything I really devote myself and my time to. Now what I need to get my motivation back that I had when I was there so I can do the things here that need to be done! Haha!

I would do it again in a heartbeat. Without a second thought.

Cherish your relationships. Hug your babies, hug your family. They are what is most important in life.

God bless!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

A Tribute to my T-shirt

Oh, dear t-shirt. How I have enjoyed your company! You have served me well for the last few years. I still remember the day I bought you. It was the first time I had ever ridden the Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point. I was hooked from that point on and had to have you. I wore you often.

Just a week or so ago, I went to my drawer, pulled you out, and as I was slipping you over my head one more time, I saw it. A hole. Right there...blazing hole. It was small, so I considered trying to save you. The location was terrible though. That little hole fell right over top of my right boob. Not cool, hole. Not cool.

*sigh* I am sad to see you go, but alas...the time has come.

You've served me well. You will be missed.

God Bless!!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012


I have three posts in the works. Please be patient with me... One should be rather amusing!

God bless...