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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Had a Moment Today...

Today, I went with my future SIL to have alterations started on her wedding dress.  My daughter stayed home with my hubby and his brother.  I knew she would be needing to eat while I was gone, so I went over how to prepare a bottle for her with my husband.  I nursed her at 11, and then a short session (seriously...less than 5 minutes) again around 12:15 for two reasons: 1) To "top her off" for her nap, and 2) In hopes to hold her over until I got home.  Granted...she needs to start taking a bottle since I'm going back to work next week.  I figured it wouldn't be too huge of a deal since she's taken a few in the past.

Anyways...my FSIL and I left around 1:15 for her 2:00 appointment.  When we were done there, we made another pitstop at JC Penney to pick up some photos, and headed home.  Over the course of about an hour or so, I had texted my hubby to see how Baby J was doing.  He said she was "Crying and kind of sleeping" (we're getting back to the fighting sleep thing...).  Then he said she was sleeping in his arms.  Good, at least she's sleeping!  We got home about 3:30, and he was trying to feed her the bottle...she was screaming.  I asked when she last ate and he said "she hasn't"  WHAT???  Great...so now, she's pretty much going on 4 1/2 hours of not really eating, and she hasn't really had a nap.  I pick her up from my hubby and head upstairs to the nursery.  She screamed the whole way, and even started coughing and gagging because she was getting so worked up.  I felt so bad.  I was finally able to calm her down and get her latched.  She ate like it had been forever.  In all honesty, it had been in comparison to her normal 2-hours-between-feedings-during-the-day schedule.

As I sat in the rocking chair, I started thinking, and started crying.  I have such a bad habit of taking things for granted, and I really need to stop.  It was then that I realized how blessed I really am, and how lucky I am to be able to give my daughter everything...EVERYTHING she needs.  All of her nutrition to grow comes from me, the roof over her pretty little head, the diapers on her adorable little butt, the clothes on her teeny little body, the socks on her perfect little feet...all of the love and care that she needs...  Yes, she gets most of that from her daddy as well, but I can give her everything.  I think that was the moment that it finally hit me exactly how real this whole thing is.  She's mine.  100%.  Forever.  To care for, love, and teach.  And I'm going to stop taking things for granted and enjoy every minute of it.

Now to just get her to take a bottle!  LOL


1 comment:

trevmom said...

I remember these feelings, when Trevor (my oldest) was first born. Then when i got pregnant with Michael (my youngest) I totally freaked out and wasnt sure i would love him enough. I mean Trevor was my world, my everything, how do I split that.
Well Michael will be 4 in two weeks and let me tell you, its amazing how you can love two individuals so differently!! Congrats to your love, and beautiful daughter!! I am soo happy for you!! -Jackie