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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

8 down...

 3 1/2 to go.  Until I go back to work that is.  I'm torn between being excited, and being severely bummed out.  After the last couple of days, it will be a welcomed change.  But...like I've said before, the good WAY outweighs the bad, and I'm NOT ready to leave my little girl yet.

In classic "Stacy" style, I seem to have procrastinated myself into a bit of a pickle.  I had looked into a couple of day care centers, and even found one that I really liked.  When I visited that place, they had one slot open in the infant room.  However, when I called them the other day, they don't have any openings until the fall.  That's what I get for waiting until 3 weeks prior to needing a day care provider.  Whoops.  There have been a couple of other places that I've called recently, but the only one that has an available spot for an infant is $230/week, and probably isn't NEARLY as fun as the place I liked before!  It's an option though.

Recently, I found out that my brother-in-law is willing to watch Lil J for a while!  He'll do it for a super price (plus food *giggle*), and I'm much more comfortable having a family member watch her, rather than a complete stranger.  There is one place that has an opening in a couple of months, and I'm hoping I can figure out how to have the BIL watch her until that opening is available.  Oh...I should probably try on some of my old clothes to make sure they fit too!  I just can't believe that I'm already so close to going back to work.  It's going to be hard.

Lately, I've found myself getting rather frustrated during the day.  There are times that Julia will cry for (seemingly) no reason.  Now...I know that babies don't cry for no reason.  There is always SOMETHING that they want or need, it's just a matter of figuring out what it is.  Whether it's a clean diaper, to be burped, eat, or maybe just being held or bounced for a bit.  When I can't figure out what she needs, I sometimes find myself holding her in front of me, staring at her saying "I don't know what you need...I'm sorry" usually followed by tears of my own.  It's hard.  It hurts me to hear and see her cry...  Sometimes it makes me question whether or not I'm really cut out for this whole mommy thing.  Then, she smiles or giggles at me and it's all better.  Her little giggle is enough to heal even the worst broken heart-the most stressed out mind.

And as I finish up this post...my little girl is calling for me!  =)



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