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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

So done....

I am so sick of feeling like I'm being walked on, taken advantage of, not being appreciated, and over all, tired of dealing with the drama.

My husband has been laid off since before the wedding in May, only working a couple of days a week here and there. NOTHING solid yet. So, basically, I'm the sole breadwinner in our house right now, aside from him getting unemployment. I thank the Lord for that because I don't know where we would be right now if we had to live just on my income. It's stressful though. I've been on the verge of tears all day at least 3 of the last 5 days, and it's driving me crazy. I hate feeling like I'm lost...like I've been deserted...like no one cares. I know, I know...people do care about me, but that's what it feels like to me. Michael is trying to find a job...has been since he got laid off. I keep praying that he will get one, but right now it just doesn't look good.

I don't know how much longer I can take this. I get up, go to work, and by the time I get home, I just don't want to do anything...ever. I force myself to be involved with a few things, but I'd almost much rather just sit on the couch and cry. I just want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy, and at the rate things are going, I just cant...there's too much stress right now, and that freaks me out too! Not good for the baby...

God give me strength...I'm afraid I might break...

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