Friday, September 20, 2013

What irks me as a parent

Before I was a parent, I never really gave a second thought to things that I said to other parents. After all, I didn't know how my words were affecting them. How could I? I didn't have any kids. Recently I've encountered a few phrases myself that I kind of wish weren't directed at me. I'm including a few from some good friends of mine as well. Enjoy!

"What a good baby!" - Now, normally, this wouldn't be so bad! However. When this is said in response to a baby that stays silent during church, or a movie, or in the grocery store, or irritates the heck out of me. Babies cry. You know, it's their only means of communication since they don't learn how to effectively communicate until they're probably around a year old, at least. Some babies don't start talking until their 18 months, 2 years old, and sometimes THREE! Go figure. Crying is a baby's way of telling you they need something whether it's food, sleep, warmth, whatever. Babies cry. So get over it.

"You have your hands full!" - OK. I hear this a lot. Yes. I do have my hands full. I have a tiny little spunky 3 1/2 year old, a 2 year old boy - nuff said, really - that has a hard time communicating, and a 6 month old breast fed-turned-bottle-fed-while-I-pump-every-two-to-four-hours-a-day baby. Yes. I have my hands full. Yes. They all drive me batty in their own special way. Yes. I love them all with everything that I am. No. I wouldn't trade it for the world ten times over, and I would much rather have my hands be overflowing than my heart to be empty.

"You're not pregnant again, are you?" (or any variation) - OK. Really. I get that people might be surprised that we have 3 kids so close together, but who cares? It's our life. We're going to do it how we want to - or rather how God wants us to. I have always wanted a lot of kids. Anywhere from 3-6 to be exact. As of now, we're teetering between "done" and "we still want another". I do appreciate people trying to save my sanity - as thin as it may be right now - but it's not your business. Mmkay? For the record, I've heard this from at *least* 7 people.

"When are you going back to work?" - Um, I'm not. At least not any time soon. I'm enjoying being a stay-at-home mom, and being able to see all of my kids' firsts. I love being able to watch their little imaginations grow, their vocabulary explode, milestones being met. Do I want to go back to work eventually? Yeah...part time, maybe. But I want to be there for my kids' sporting events, concerts, plays, whatever they get into so I'm in absolutely no rush to go back to work. I do have days that I really wish I was working, but those days are usually because all three kids are throwing fits at the same time multiple times a day. I'm pretty sure anyone would buckle with that. I used to work full time when Julia was born. It was tons easier than what I do now. But again, I wouldn't trade it for the world ten times over.

The last couple are from some friends of mine. :-)
"Mommy gut" - Don't. Just don't. We all know we have it. We all want to get rid of it - maybe...eventually. We don't need a reminder that our midsections are a smidgen worse than pristine condition. Some of us don't care that we have it! Either way, that one falls under the "none of your business" umbrella as well. We don't walk around criticizing your hair, makeup, clothes, body, why should you be allowed to ridicule us?

"When are you going to try for a girl/boy?" or "Don't you want a girl/boy?" - You know...this one kind of falls under that umbrella, too. Maybe people are happy with all boys or all girls. Who cares? Asking this question could actually hurt the parents, too! You don't know if they have been trying for another, or if they've reluctantly decided to be "done" having kids. Either way, it's not anyone else's decision.

Anyways...just my little rant for the day. :-)

God bless!


Jessica said...

people who aren't parents should keep their mouths shut on ANY subject dealing with children. You will never know ever what it's like to be a parent until you are one!

brandy said...

Totally agree!

Christina Banks said...

The one currently driving me crazy is "when are you going to have another?" Really it is none of your business. I deal with PCOS. It took 25 months of active trying, on medication, to conceive the first time. Trust me, if it was that easy for me to have a baby, I'd be pregnant right now, but it isn't so please stop pushing. Let me enjoy the blessing that God has given me without reminding me of the ache to expand our family and my inability to do so without medical intervention.

Stacy B. said...

Big hugs, Christina!!! I know a few people that have and/or are struggling with getting pregnant, and I can't even imagine the pain that you all have to deal with. <3

Christina Banks said...

Thanks, Stacy. It's an emotional roller coaster that is hard to comprehend if you've never been on it.