Skeeter **trigger**

 Hey,

So, this year has been mostly ok, I guess. The kids are doing great (one runner, one in robotics, one will be able to do after school stuff next year). Work is still going ok for me, and Michael is still doing well at his job.

However...we lost my little Skeeter on December 28. He started acting very weird on Wednesday, so I called an emergency vet and told them what was going on. They didn’t think it sounded life threatening, but I was still really scared. Against my better judgment, I did not take him in that night. I should have. And I’m kicking myself for not taking him now. We isolated him to monitor litter usage, and to see if he was eating and drinking. My kiddos were home alone on Thursday (Michael and I had to work) and my oldest daughter checked on him every hour. At 11:20, my daughter called me sobbing. I’ll never forget that call. 

Hello?...

*sobbing* I don’t know what’s wrong!!!

What’s going on?

I came in to check on him. He came out from behind the toilet to let me pet him, and then he laid down and started breathing all weird, and kind of stretched out...

Is he breathing now?

I don’t know...

Put your hand on him and check

...no...he’s not *sobs*

Ok...um...ok

Mom, can you come home?

Give me a minute

*sniffle* ok... *sniffle*

I went straight to my supervisor, and then came directly home.

When I got home, I went to my room to find my daughter sitting right outside my bathroom, crying. I gave her a big hug, told her thank you, and went in. He was laying right in the middle of the floor. She had sweetly put a couple of pieces of toilet paper under his mouth because blood had started coming out. He was still warm...and I felt so terrible for not taking him in the night before. And for leaving the kids alone knowing that he wasn’t quite “right”. And for my daughter having to witness the whole thing. I loved on him a little, cried a lot, told him I was so sorry for not being there, and I told him that I love him. 

He will forever be my little shadow. My little love bug. My little buddy.

I wasn’t always the nicest to him - not in an abusive way or anything - just in an “oh my gosh leave me alone for 2 minutes” kind of way. If I sat down, he was on my lap. If I walked from the kitchen to the living room and back, he was two steps behind me. He drove me absolutely crazy, but I loved him so much... He chose me. I was his person, and he was my shadow.

The house feels so empty without him, even though he wasn’t a “big” presence. I miss him so much...

Anyways. Sorry for the downer post...but he deserves the recognition.

Here’s to 2024...may it bring you blessings in abundance.

Stacy B.