I Feel So Defeated.

There are a lot of feelings that come along with being a parent.

Pride.

Love.

Frustration.

Inadequacy.

Anger.

Loneliness.

Fulfillment.

Happiness.

Feeling lost.

And my latest (repeat) offender...defeat.

I just don't even know what to do or what to think anymore.

A while back, my youngest was diagnosed with an ear infection. No biggie. We started her on antibiotics, and they didn't work. I took her back to the doctor, and we started round two because both ears were "nasty". Her ears cleared up! Yay! Then, early last week, she started not wanting to eat very much. I didn't think anything of it because she goes through these spurts of not wanting to eat.

My son's winter coat went missing last Wednesday. We have no idea where it is. The school doesn't have it, the bus garage doesn't have it, the day care center doesn't have it, and obviously we don't have it. I really hope it was just that my son saw someone in need, and gave them his coat. Heaven help me if I find out that some kid just took his coat, or bullied it away from him.

The day after my son's coat went missing, my youngest was diagnosed with strep. I get it. Strep happens. Colds happens. We started round three of antibiotics (and we're still working on that round). What happened next, though, is what really ticked me off. She developed Hand Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD). We have no idea if she picked it up at school, Religious Education, or day care. But either way...it hasn't been fun. It's now Wednesday again, and her blisters are *just* healing up. I've missed three and a half days of work since last Wednesday, and one day of school.

Today, I kept my son (and my youngest...again) home from school. I had to take him to the doctor because he's had a few new symptoms pop up. Guess what...he has HFMD now, too! I really, really, really hopes my oldest doesn't get it. While there, the doctor asked me three times how I'm holding up.

I guess my stress and frustration is shining brightly through!

I really had high hopes for this school year. The oldest is in her fourth full year in this school, and my son is in his third. The youngest, though, is in her first year in the school. I was hoping that, having been in day care full time since I went back to work, her immune system would have been built up, but I guess I was wrong. Here's hoping that maybe next year is better, and that all the parents at the school actually follow the 24-hour rule. I get that a lot of parents work, because guess what! I do too! But my kids' health comes first, and I sure don't want to be the one responsible for someone else's child getting sick.

Anyways. It's already been a long day. I need to try to get some things done.

I'll try to keep up a bit better. (I've said that for a long time now, haven't I?)

God bless,
Stacy

"Don't Worry, There Will Be More!"

But, what if there aren't?

What if the last birthday your child celebrated, was their last birthday?

Or your last birthday was your last birthday?

What if you celebrated your first wedding anniversary, only to have it be your last?

What if there weren't any more celebrations?

Somber though, that is.

Live life while you have it.

Love like there's nothing left...

Make sure those that you love know it.

Because one day, there won't be anything left...

This is your life. Your book. Write it your way.

Live your life so you're happy.

You only control yourself.

No one else.

So don't try to force your thoughts on others...let them live, too.

God bless.

Make Time to Slow Down

Hi there, long lost blog followers. I know I've let you down, I've let you go by the wayside, I've 'lost' you a little bit, right along with my other blog. I'm sorry. I will do better. Sometime.

Life gets a little bit crazy, you know? We're always running, doing, going...but not slowing. We need to make time to slow down. For our health. For our own sanity. We're always busy, busy, busy! Unfortunately, not slowing down is just going to make us busy ourselves to death.

We need to take a break.

To stop and smell the roses.

Share some coffee or dinner with a friend or family.

Family...man, you know, that little thing that's always there for you. Do we even realize just how important they are to us? Yeah, there are bumps in the road, we may lose touch every once in a while, but family is family. Period. We should be able to rely on them for things, even if it's just some moral support, or an "I feel ya" when we're struggling. They're your blood. Your lifeline...or maybe they're your whole life. Love them. Appreciate them. Give them the grace that they deserve even when they make you angry or do something you don't agree with. Support them. Thank them. Tell them you love them. Because no one knows how long we have left to live on this Earth.

Make some time to slow down today. Step away from your schedule, and reach out to someone else. You may just make their day!

God bless,
Stacy B.