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Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Social Calendar

My social calendar has been all but nonexistent for the last...oh...25 years really. Who remembers what their "social calendar" looked like at six years old anyways? Hahaa

Anyways. We got a newsletter from our city in the mail the other day. I looked through the calendar on it and circled everything I wanted to try to do. There are Farmer's Markets, Classic Car Days, "Junk In Your Trunk" sale days (I want to participate in that!!!), among other things. I wrote everything that I wanted to do at least one time this summer on the calendar. If I can pull it off, I might actually have some sort of semblance of a social calendar! And...it will be all by my lonesome...well, just me and the kids mostly...and occasionally my husband. Go figure!

God bless...

Thursday, April 26, 2012

And a couple of pictures for good measure!

Be sure to visit the update posted just before these photos, but enjoy!

Julia playing outside with daddy...

Justin being the adorable little man he is!

I so adore my kids...they make me smile...

God bless...

Productive couple of days over here...

Monday and Tuesday I felt really good about what I got done! Actually, I felt like a freaking mad woman...lol But I got a lot accomplished.

What was on Monday's 'To-Do' list: Vacuum downstairs, dust, clean the half bath, dishes, stuff diapers, vacuum stairs, organize coupons that were on the fridge, and try to do one bedroom cleaning project. The only things that I did NOT get done was cleaning the half bath and the one bedroom cleaning project.

What was on Tuesday's 'To-Do' list: Wash diapers, dishes, clean 1/2 bath (since I didn't do it Monday), one bedroom cleaning project, sweep, wipe down counters/stove/table/microwave, strip bed and wash sheets. The only things that I didn't get done Tuesday was washing diapers and the one bedroom cleaning project.

I swear...cleaning that bedroom up is going to be the bane of my existence!!!

I took yesterday off. I didn't do a darn thing. Michael washed diapers last night, and he did the dishes...

Now...today's 'To-Do' list is as follows (so far): Empty/reload dishwasher, wash bottles, sweep, vacuum the whole house (at the very LEAST I need to vacuum upstairs since the downstairs was done on Monday), clean the full bathroom. I'm sure I'll be adding more, but I felt pretty good for a little while on Monday and Tuesday. Unfortunately, it was short lived...which is why I took yesterday off from productivity! Ha!

God bless!

Monday, April 23, 2012

I know, I know...

I keep changing my blog title. I really think this one will stick, though! I will be in the learning phase of life indefinitely, but I really feel like "Attached at the Heart" is more...ME...

God bless

Friday, April 20, 2012

The New Me

*Warning: This is long...and it's a lot of me, me, me...*

At the beginning of the year, I decided I was going to do a few different things. I wanted to learn my camera better, took on a 52 week project, and I wanted to do something that would make me a better person. Something that would help me find a better life balance within me. Well, unfortunately, I failed miserably at what I wanted to do. Now, I'm starting over. And this might help to explain a few things that went unsaid back in January.

I have what one might call an obsessive personality. Now, when I say that, I don't mean that I obsess over every little thing, but when something gets under my skin...I can't get it to go away without drastic measures. I really feel that I have mild O.C.D. as well. Some things have to be "just so", or they drive me NUTTY. I have gone behind Michael numerous times to put things back 'where they go', or how they were. This little quirk of mine has worked both in my favor, and totally against me in the past. I'm going to make it work in my favor this time. For good. For me. For my husband. For my kids...for my FAMILY. They deserve better from me, and I know that.

I also have what you might call a somewhat needy personality. I need encouragement. I need reinforcement. I need to be noticed. I need to be recognized for what I've accomplished in a non-physical way. I need the 'little things'. I need to feel needed, wanted, loved, appreciated. I crave it. If I don't get that...well, I feel totally useless. I slip into depression. Albeit mild most times. Other times I question whether I've made the right decisions in my life. If I've in fact lived the way I'm supposed to. Then I see my kids, and I wonder why I even questioned it.

It hit me last night. There are so many things that I want and need to do around the house, and just in general, but I have a terrible time getting myself motivated to do them. These are little things that would probably take no more than 10 minutes to do. For some reason, I just. can't. do them. I walked into my bedroom last night and wanted to cry. There was a handful of projects sitting there that I *could* have done, but didn't. One problem that I have is that if I don't think I can get it completely finished in one setting, I won't do it. Well...with two kids on the move, it's virtually impossible to get a project done from start to finish in one sitting. Unless Michael is home. Even then I'd almost rather spend my time numbing my mind on my computer just because the days are emotionally draining sometimes.

As I entered that room, I saw the laundry basket full of clean clothes (mostly mine) that had been sitting there for a week and a half. Yes...a week and a half. I couldn't put my clothes away. Then, there's the small pile of clothes along the wall on my side of the bed. Mostly made up of a few items that have only been worn once, but again...too lazy to put them away. There were the clothes at the foot of the bed on my side that I hadn't yet put away. The piles of stuff on my dresser...the piles of stuff on my nightstand. The bags of yarn...you get the idea. I felt like a failure. Like I didn't deserve the family I have. I am SO BLESSED to have my husband and my kids. But I've started taking them for granted again. I don't like that one bit. So...I'm going to change. I have to do it for me. I have to hold myself accountable.

One of my biggest weaknesses is my computer. I live on this thing. Facebook. BabyCenter. Pinterest. Blogger. Yahoo. Swagbucks (well, that one has paid off a few times!). I've tried to "give up" my computer numerous times. Then I hit a wall during the day, and I just cave. I have to stop. I'm not giving it up anymore, but I'm going to limit it a LOT. I want to cut back so far, and I want to replace the time that I would have been on the computer with cleaning, crocheting, playing with the kids, and reading. Now that I can make it out of the house with both kids in a relatively short amount of time, I want to take them places. Do things with them. Get them to know their mommy. I want them to understand that there doesn't always have to be some electronic device attached to our lap or our hands. I want them to love me, to know me, to understand me, trust me, and respect me. I don't want to be "that mom" that always has to yell at her kids because they're interrupting something *I* want to be doing. It's not about me anymore. It's about my family. THEY are what matters.

I will start working out again. Maybe not every day. Maybe not even three times a week...but I WILL do it,  and I've started eating more healthy. I need to feel good in my body in order to feel good about myself. My self esteem has tanked in the last few days. Mainly just because my mind runs wild and I think things that probably aren't even true. It's amazing what amount of power your mind has, though...I really don't like to feel like a failure, and only I can eliminate that feeling and make that change permanent.

My last blog post was about staying with my sister. It really helped me to realize exactly what I'm capable of. So, I will harness that feeling, coupled with the feeling of complete uselessness from when I walked into my bedroom last night, and I'm going to run with it.

Today, I worked on a crochet project that has taken 100 times longer than it should have, I swept the floors, cleaned off the table, and painted some cute little toe nails while the little boy was sleeping. I felt pretty good for a few minutes! I'm hoping to keep that going.

So...until next time...
God Bless...

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Travels: With Children

Picture that title like the Married: With Children TV show logo. 'Cause that's exactly how I'm seeing it in my mind!

OK. On to the story!

A while back, my sister offered to be a surrogate for someone close to me. Now, since every woman in our family seems to be fertile Myrtile, and it was through IVF that she became pregnant, we were all pretty convinced that she would get pregnant with at least twins. Well, guess what! She did in fact become pregnant with twins! How cool is that? This couple will be doubly blessed when these babies arrive.

Anyways...with a twin pregnancy, I was relatively certain that bed rest would become a part of it, and/or that my sister would be as big as a house and would need someone to drive her places, clean for her, cook for her, etc. When the twin aspect was verified, I offered to stay with her to give her a hand for a while. Originally, I was only going to stay for two weeks, but that wound up changing to four weeks. Michael wasn't exactly happy about it because he would only see the kids on weekends or on nights that he could come by after work. I wasn't worried about it. I thought it would be fine! My sister and I were thinking "Sweet! We'll get to hang out, do some baking, and chat a lot!" You know...like a mini-vacation! Yeah...not so much!!! LOL

Each Sunday night consisted of basically packing up half of the house. Two suitcases - the big one for clothes/blankets for the three of us, the small one...just for all things diaper! Cloth diapers for day time, disposable diapers for over night, wipes, creams, etc. -  a booster seat (I had both seats with me the first week), the activity center (I left it there after the first weekend), toys, the potty chair, both gates, two pack n plays, my pump, laptop, camera, purse, crochet stuff...you get the idea. I got as much put in my car on Sunday night as possible. A select few items got thrown in the car Monday.

Monday mornings were actually somewhat easy. I got up early, loaded up what I could before the kids woke up, then got Julia's breakfast ready. As soon as she was done eating, I changed both kids, got them dressed, loaded them into the car and took off!

Now is when the adventure REALLY starts. Haha! When I got to her house, I had to unload all the stuff out of my car. Thankfully, her hubby was there to help me. The whole unpacking/getting organized/settling in thing took, oh, about 2 hours. (Remember...I'm dealing with a 2 year old and a 8/9 month old in the process of ALL of this!). The three of us all slept in one room. Me in the bed (MOST of the time alone), Justin in the small pack n play, and Julia in the larger pack n play. Let me tell you...the first couple of nights were NOT very amusing! LOL Any time Justin woke up, Julia woke up, and vice verse. It was horrendous. But, I was excited to be there with my sister so that made it all worth it! I mean, I spend my time talking to a toddler and an infant all. day. long. I finally had some adult interaction in my days!!! Woohoo!!!

Through the week, I had to take care of both kiddos, my sister, and her daughter - when she got home from school - oh, and myself. It was stressful, but I was so happy to be able to help her out in that way. Being on bed rest, she wasn't supposed to do more than lay on the couch unless she was going to the bathroom or showering. I had to get her food, her meds, drinks, you name it. I also had to make some dinner each night. I was able to tackle more day in and day out being responsible for three kids and two adults than I do in a normal day in my own house! What's wrong with that picture??? Haha

Typical day: Wake up (hopefully before the kids...yeah, that didn't really happen). Get out of bed and hop on the computer for some quiet "me" time before Hurricanes Julia and Justin woke up. Get interrupted by either a screaming baby or a screaming toddler. Get them up. My sis, her hubby, and my niece all get up. I get breakfast and medications/vitamins for my sister, and if I'm lucky...breakfast for myself, too! Get breakfast for Julia started, make a bottle for Justin, and attempt to eat. Change a couple of diapers, get the kids dressed. Let the kids play a bit while I still try to squeeze in a little computer time. Get a snack for my sis. Change a couple of diapers again. Nap time for Justin! He screams. A lot. I ignore him mostly (cut me some slack!). I check in on him after 5 minutes a few times, then he finally sleeps. Oh, it's lunch time! Lunch for me, my sis, and for Julia. Mine waits. Justin wakes up. Get him up and change a couple diapers again. Little man is hungry, so I make him a bottle. Put Julia down for a nap. She screams. A lot more than Justin did. I ignore her too...mostly. Get a snack for my sis. Somewhere in there, I manage to give Justin some solids and a handful of puffs (the kid LOVES those things) twice a day. Julia wakes up. I get her up, change a couple diapers. Justin gets super crabby because he's getting tired. I put him down for a nap. I ask "when do I get to take a nap???" (hahahahaha). Snack time for Julia! She's content with some goldfish and her milk most of the time. She's crabby. Whiny. Clingy. Yay! Justin wakes up. Change a couple diapers, get him another bottle, and start thinking about dinner! Another snack for my sister. Empty and reload the dishwasher. Oh! My niece is home! Sweet! She can entertain the kids so I can finish cooking! WOOOOOHOOO! Julia gets wound tighter than a top (it was HILARIOUS to see her so excited and having such a good time!) Dinner is done, we sit down to eat. Julia refuses most of the time. Get dinner cleaned up, change a couple of diapers and bed time ensues. OYE VE. Bed time was horrendous for the first two weeks, really. But oh well! That was really how each day went. There were slight variations, but all in all...it was constant moving for me. There were times that I let one or both kids sit on the floor and cry so that I could sit down for a minute. :-)

When Friday rolled around, I had to pack everything back up again, and load it into my car between breakfasts, lunches, dinners, naps, etc. It usually took darn near all day to get everything ready to go. Then, after dinner I would load up the kiddies and head back home.

I'm not going to lie. It was hard. I missed my husband. But I LOVED being there with my sister. Hanging out with her, my brother-in-law and my niece made it a lot easier to handle. We had a lot of good conversations, and having Michael stop by occasionally kind of lessened the "blow" for the kids. They missed their daddy like crazy, but they did so well. I really enjoyed spending time with my sister, but when I got home to my hubby...it felt wonderful! It has also made me realize that I can do ANYTHING I want. Anything I need to. Anything I really devote myself and my time to. Now what I need to do...is get my motivation back that I had when I was there so I can do the things here that need to be done! Haha!

I would do it again in a heartbeat. Without a second thought.

Cherish your relationships. Hug your babies, hug your family. They are what is most important in life.

God bless!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

A Tribute to my T-shirt

Oh, dear t-shirt. How I have enjoyed your company! You have served me well for the last few years. I still remember the day I bought you. It was the first time I had ever ridden the Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point. I was hooked from that point on and had to have you. I wore you often.

Just a week or so ago, I went to my drawer, pulled you out, and as I was slipping you over my head one more time, I saw it. A hole. Right there...blazing hole. It was small, so I considered trying to save you. The location was terrible though. That little hole fell right over top of my right boob. Not cool, hole. Not cool.

*sigh* I am sad to see you go, but alas...the time has come.

You've served me well. You will be missed.


God Bless!!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Sigh...

I have three posts in the works. Please be patient with me... One should be rather amusing!

God bless...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Coming soon...

A tribute to one of my favorite t-shirts. I know you're dying to read it! lol

God bless!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Adventures With Children

Boy...do I have a story to tell!!! It will have to wait a little while though. I think everyone around the blogosphere - well, anyone that reads my blog - knows that I have two young children. Julia just turned two, and Justin is 8 1/2 months. Needless to say, I have my hands FULL. Justin started crawling when he was about 6 1/2 months old, so I've been chasing two kids around all day every day. It's EXHAUSTING. Add in random sleepless nights and you get me. The walking zombie. Well...not really. I don't feel THAT tired... ha ha

One thing that has really been weighing on me is me breastfeeding the little man. We're going on 8 1/2 months now, and adding that into the every day stresses has just become too much. I decided to pump exclusively a little over a month ago. Well...I'm not keeping up with the little mans demand anymore, so I'm hanging it up. I've been either pregnant or breastfeeding for a little more than 2 1/2 years - consecutively!!! I'm ready to have my body back, I'm ready to have my freedoms back, and I'm ready to have my sanity back. I'm surprisingly OK with this decision given the fact that I was bent on making it to 1 year. Maybe I'm just not cut out for it. Or, maybe having babies that are only 16 months apart played a bigger role than I expected. Either way, we've broken out the formula, and are in the process of transitioning Justin from breast milk to formula.

We started the transition slow. On Saturday, we mixed one ounce of formula in with Justin's afternoon bottle. It went pretty well! We also mixed one ounce in with his evening bottle. Sunday, we mixed 1 oz in each of his bottles. Monday and Tuesday we added 2 oz to each of his bottles. Since my "stash" of frozen milk was rapidly dwindling, I had to be a little more pro-active. This morning, I mixed 3 oz of formula and the rest was breast milk. His afternoon bottle, however, was 100% formula! Now, I will have to continue pumping for a short period of time just to avoid the pain and discomfort aspect, but so far it's going pretty well!

Anyways...I will be heading outside to hang up our diapers on the drying rack very soon, and can't wait to enjoy the sunshine!

God bless!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Really...is this not the most ADORABLE little dress ever??!!





I think Julia might end up with a couple of these...with different colored boleros!!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

New signature...

And that's the sole purpose of this post! It's late...and I should be in bed. haha

Good night, and God bless!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Hello Spring!!!

It is so incredibly BEAUTIFUL outside right now. I just want to run around in the back yard with the kids some more. I see some outside crocheting in my very near future!

I'm getting so excited to get the garden started this year as well. I'm going to be planting some bell peppers which I didn't do last year. I am looking forward to some fresh veggies again this year. Hopefully everything will take a little better than it did last year! OH! And my lilacs have buds!!!

Here are a couple of cute pics I snapped the other day in our back yard...just Justin though, Julia was taking a nap at the time. :-)




God bless!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Wow.

Ever had one of those days that all you can think is "wow"? I've been having them a lot lately. I look at my little girl and think to myself "wow...just 2 years ago she was a little 5lb 2oz brand new squishy little peanut in my arms." Or, I'll look at Justin and think "wow...he's getting so big so fast!" Then there are days that I'm perusing Facebook or BabyCenter and I think "wow...what are these people SMOKING???" LOL

Anyways...get out and enjoy the beautiful weather!!! If it's beautiful where you are, that is.

God bless!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Involuntary Insomnia

Yep. That's what I'm suffering from today. I put the kids down to bed last night just like normal, but a little bit later than usual. When I say a little bit later, I mean 15 minutes tops. I decided to go to bed shortly after 10. Justin woke up at 10:20 ready to eat. Then again around 12:30, and 2:40 (when he ate again), and he proceeded to stay awake until well after 4 am. In the process, he woke Julia up around 2:45. She, too, was awake until well after 4 am. I decided to play "shuffle the babies" thinking the larger pack n play would be better for Justin. So, I put Julia in bed with me and tried to lay Justin down in the full size pack n play. He screamed. By the time I tried that, it was about 3:30. So I thought 'well, what's the harm in having both of them in bed with me. Especially if everyone actually sleeps. I brought Justin to bed with me. He whined and cried for a few minutes before I decided to nurse him. Again. For the second time in Just over an hour. He ate like he had never eaten before. Then, I turned the radio back on to a super fuzzy station and turned it up. Laid Justin down and just laid in bed waiting for him to fall asleep. Thankfully he only fussed for a couple of minutes before passing out again. And Julia managed to sleep for a few more hours in bed with me. I usually get up around 6:30 in order to get some quiet "me" time in the morning since I don't get in any other time. Ever. Well...my alarm went off, and I thought 'no way'. We all slept until about 7:15 this morning.

Having babies = involuntary insomnia...

God bless...

Sunday, March 11, 2012

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

I am a snow lover at heart...but... I LOVE the weather out right now! The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and it's warm enough to go outside and play!!! Michael took Julia out for a little while, and I was in the house making some more baby food for Justin. After about 30 minutes, I decided to take a break from baby food making and take Justin out to get some much needed vitamin D. He had a grand old time pulling grass out of the ground and wiggling his toes in it!

*sigh* ...hello spring!!!

God bless...

Thursday, March 8, 2012

She's TWO!!!


Someone please tell me where the time went!!! My little girl...my baby, turned two today. Where did my itty bitty 5lb 2oz squishy baby girl go? She is the light of my life...and I can't wait to see her grow up!


Julia shortly after birth:

And at two years old:

God Bless!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

March 6, 2012

Yesterday was quite a day in the B. household. It started pretty normally, but changed quickly.

Usually Justin goes down for his first nap around 10. Well...he thought yesterday would be a great day to change that up. I got a little excited thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was starting the transition to one nap a day. He went down for his nap at 11:20, and I was expecting his usual two hour nap. Boy, was I wrong! He was up and raring to go at 11:55, five minutes before Julia was supposed to go down. He then refused his afternoon nap. So he was up from 11:55 am until bed time. At 6:30. Julia's nap went just as expected. Just a little bit shorter than normal.

Fast forward to a little later in the evening. Michael got home from work, we ate dinner, and had Julia sit on the potty for a few minutes. She went #2 (yay!!!), so we gave her a little bit of a granola bar as a treat. It was one of those chocolate peanut butter chewy granola bars. A few minutes after we gave it to her, we noticed that Justin had something in his mouth. I went in the living room and saw this glob of food...guess what it was! A HUGE chunk of the granola bar we gave Julia! PEANUT BUTTER...in my 8 month old's mouth! Eek! We kept an eye on him for a bit to make sure he didn't start reacting to it - which he didn't.

This is when it starts getting good. We're in the middle of trying to get ready for Julia's birthday party this weekend, and I was clearing some of the stuff off of the table. Michael was in the living room with the kids - holding Justin, and Julia was on the couch. All of a sudden, I hear this "SMACK" and Michael said "oh no!" I ran to the living room and Julia was frantically trying to turn herself over after rolling off of the couch and onto the Little People play house she has. I ran to her, looked at her and all I could see was blood in her mouth. I picked her up as fast as I could and all I could think was one of her teeth got knocked out. I freaked and yelled "It's her teeth!!! We have to take her to the doc!". Michael had a diaper bag packed in about two minutes flat, and we were about to run out the door. I picked Julia up, grabbed a wash cloth, ran it under cold water and started wiping away the blood. I *gently* touched each of her front teeth to make sure they weren't loose. Then I looked at her poor little lip. No loose teeth, no missing teeth...just a good sized 'bruise' (maybe a blood blister?) on the underside of her lip where it meets the gums. I told Michael "I don't think we have to take her in..." However, since we had already gotten her all ready to go for a 'ride', he took her with him to put gas in my car. Everything seemed to be going fine when he got home, and Julia was back to playing, running, and acting like a little maniac so we decided to just keep an eye on her.

I think Michael and I checked on her 6 times before we went to bed. I checked on Justin a few times too, just because of the peanut butter issue.

*sigh* ...and so it begins...

God bless!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I hope you're ready!!!

Here goes. The photo overload! I'm just going to start in January this year. Otherwise, this post would be 5 miles long (rather than 4), and I don't want to bore anyone with that many pictures! They're not perfect - some are blurry, some are dark...you get the idea...

First up, the absolutely most adorable little girl on the planet!


 ~~Cute little smile~~

~~Her model pose~~

~~Coloring with daddy~~

~~Silly face~~

~~Beautiful baby~~

 ~~Cheese face!~~

~~In her big girl bed~~

 ~~Playing in the snow~~

~~Being silly again~~

~~Cutie patootie~~

~~Wearing a shirt she got for her first birthday~~

And now on to the cutest little boy to ever crawl on the planet!


~~Did you say something?~~

~~Cutie pie~~

~~What IS that???~~

~~Heheh~~

~~Check me out mom, I can roll AND touch my toes~~

~~Waking up happy from a nap!~~

~~Let's see if I can figure out this whole crawling thing...~~

~~Smile!~~

~~More pictures?~~

~~Really, mom? Please...~~

~~ :-) ~~

~~More smiles!~~

God bless!