Music

Well, it's almost D-Day.  I can honestly say that I'm really not looking forward to it, and everyone knows that.  Every time I think about leaving my little girl for the entire day, I get choked up.  I can do it, I'm just not ready to.

When I was pregnant, I had 5 ultrasounds before the little bean made her grand entrance.  One was at 16 weeks.  During that ultrasound, we told the tech that we didn't want to know the sex of the baby.  When she got around to checking out the baby's belly, she went just a little too far, and we caught about a 60% shot of the area.  Obviously it wasn't enough to say one way or another, but I didn't see anything.  At the same time...I didn't see anything.  From that day on, I had a feeling that this little bean would be a girl, but I didn't want to get my hopes up, and I still wanted to be prepared either way.  This song has always been one of my favorites, and I often found myself trying to re-word it to be "In My Mother's Eyes".  Now that I have my little girl, it breaks me down whenever I hear it...



And...I just can't seem to get enough of Lady Antebellum's song, Need You Now.  I don't know what it is about this song, but it just doesn't get old...

Need You Now
Songwriters: Haywood, Dave; Kear, Josh; Kelley, Charles; Scott, Hillary

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Woah, woah
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now, I just need you now

Oh baby, I need you now


*sigh*...counting down...

Had a Moment Today...

Today, I went with my future SIL to have alterations started on her wedding dress.  My daughter stayed home with my hubby and his brother.  I knew she would be needing to eat while I was gone, so I went over how to prepare a bottle for her with my husband.  I nursed her at 11, and then a short session (seriously...less than 5 minutes) again around 12:15 for two reasons: 1) To "top her off" for her nap, and 2) In hopes to hold her over until I got home.  Granted...she needs to start taking a bottle since I'm going back to work next week.  I figured it wouldn't be too huge of a deal since she's taken a few in the past.

Anyways...my FSIL and I left around 1:15 for her 2:00 appointment.  When we were done there, we made another pitstop at JC Penney to pick up some photos, and headed home.  Over the course of about an hour or so, I had texted my hubby to see how Baby J was doing.  He said she was "Crying and kind of sleeping" (we're getting back to the fighting sleep thing...).  Then he said she was sleeping in his arms.  Good, at least she's sleeping!  We got home about 3:30, and he was trying to feed her the bottle...she was screaming.  I asked when she last ate and he said "she hasn't"  WHAT???  Great...so now, she's pretty much going on 4 1/2 hours of not really eating, and she hasn't really had a nap.  I pick her up from my hubby and head upstairs to the nursery.  She screamed the whole way, and even started coughing and gagging because she was getting so worked up.  I felt so bad.  I was finally able to calm her down and get her latched.  She ate like it had been forever.  In all honesty, it had been in comparison to her normal 2-hours-between-feedings-during-the-day schedule.

As I sat in the rocking chair, I started thinking, and started crying.  I have such a bad habit of taking things for granted, and I really need to stop.  It was then that I realized how blessed I really am, and how lucky I am to be able to give my daughter everything...EVERYTHING she needs.  All of her nutrition to grow comes from me, the roof over her pretty little head, the diapers on her adorable little butt, the clothes on her teeny little body, the socks on her perfect little feet...all of the love and care that she needs...  Yes, she gets most of that from her daddy as well, but I can give her everything.  I think that was the moment that it finally hit me exactly how real this whole thing is.  She's mine.  100%.  Forever.  To care for, love, and teach.  And I'm going to stop taking things for granted and enjoy every minute of it.

Now to just get her to take a bottle!  LOL

L O V E

One year ago today, May 16th 2009, I married my wonderful husband.  Thank you, Michael, for two of the best gifts a girl could ever ask for...the love of a great man...

and our beautiful baby girl!

 I love you honey!

Mother's Day, and a Lil J update

So, yesterday was Mother's Day!  Happy Mother's Day to all of the mommies out there!  My first Mother's Day was pretty good!  I got a card in the mail from one of my sisters, one of my best girlfriends, and my mom.  I loved them all!  They're still sitting on the table.  =)  Michael also got me a very sweet card and signed it from him and Julia.  Inside, there was a gift card for the little spa that opened up just down the street, and I CAN'T WAIT to use it!!!  They do manicures, pedicures, facials and massages!  Wahoo!  My mom also came over and spent most of the day here, and brought me some gorgeous flowers.  It was intended to be a "HELP ME WITH MY FUSSY BABY" visit, but Julia was wonderful the whole time.  Go figure!  I also got a T-shirt from my other sister that says "New Mom 2010".  It's really cute, and I wore it yesterday!  Michael and I got dinner from Panera, and later in the evening, he gave me a quick foot massage.  It was so nice...

And now for the update on Lil J...she is growing SO much!  I just can't get over it.  She was 5lbs 2oz and 18" at birth (even though I think 18" was pretty generous...), but when I took her to her 2 month appointment at 9 this morning, she was 9lbs 2oz, and 21 1/2" long!  I couldn't believe when the nurse said she was over 9lbs!  Sheesh...little piglet...LOL  Anyways.  Today she got her first round of vaccines.  I wasn't looking forward to her getting poked - yet again.  Granted, this wasn't a poke like the biliruben testing.  That was actually a little slice in her heel to draw blood.  This was "just" needles.  Well, she got 2 pokes in her left leg, and one in her right.  When the first needle went in, she screamed...the purple-faced-breath-holding scream.  I had to blow in her face a couple of times to get her to breathe again...poor thing...  When she was done getting the vaccines, the nurse let me use the room for a few minutes to nurse lil J.  It helped her calm down quite a bit more.  She fell asleep (one of the side effects) on the way home, and has been sleeping pretty much ever since...it's now going on 5:00.  Poor baby...she keeps waking up whining every once in a while, and I feel so bad!  I'm just giving her lots of extra loving today.

*sigh*

8 down...

 3 1/2 to go.  Until I go back to work that is.  I'm torn between being excited, and being severely bummed out.  After the last couple of days, it will be a welcomed change.  But...like I've said before, the good WAY outweighs the bad, and I'm NOT ready to leave my little girl yet.

In classic "Stacy" style, I seem to have procrastinated myself into a bit of a pickle.  I had looked into a couple of day care centers, and even found one that I really liked.  When I visited that place, they had one slot open in the infant room.  However, when I called them the other day, they don't have any openings until the fall.  That's what I get for waiting until 3 weeks prior to needing a day care provider.  Whoops.  There have been a couple of other places that I've called recently, but the only one that has an available spot for an infant is $230/week, and probably isn't NEARLY as fun as the place I liked before!  It's an option though.

Recently, I found out that my brother-in-law is willing to watch Lil J for a while!  He'll do it for a super price (plus food *giggle*), and I'm much more comfortable having a family member watch her, rather than a complete stranger.  There is one place that has an opening in a couple of months, and I'm hoping I can figure out how to have the BIL watch her until that opening is available.  Oh...I should probably try on some of my old clothes to make sure they fit too!  I just can't believe that I'm already so close to going back to work.  It's going to be hard.

Lately, I've found myself getting rather frustrated during the day.  There are times that Julia will cry for (seemingly) no reason.  Now...I know that babies don't cry for no reason.  There is always SOMETHING that they want or need, it's just a matter of figuring out what it is.  Whether it's a clean diaper, to be burped, eat, or maybe just being held or bounced for a bit.  When I can't figure out what she needs, I sometimes find myself holding her in front of me, staring at her saying "I don't know what you need...I'm sorry" usually followed by tears of my own.  It's hard.  It hurts me to hear and see her cry...  Sometimes it makes me question whether or not I'm really cut out for this whole mommy thing.  Then, she smiles or giggles at me and it's all better.  Her little giggle is enough to heal even the worst broken heart-the most stressed out mind.

And as I finish up this post...my little girl is calling for me!  =)

U.S. Divorce Agreement

I got this in an email the other day, and it made me chuckle.  Rather than forward on yet another "chain mail", I'll just post it here!

DISCLAIMER:

This is not intended to offend anyone...simply posted for entertainment purposes...even though I tend to agree with a lot of it!!!  Enjoy!

DIVORCE AGREEMENT 

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!  WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.  I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms.  We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that, it should be relatively easy!  Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.  You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.  Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.  You can have your beloved homeboys and illegal aliens.  We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.  We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that treaten us.  You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.  When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.  You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain.  You can also have th U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.  You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.  We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.  We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.  I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.  Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this?  If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.  In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S.  Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S.  And we won't have to press 1 for English.

Life Variations

Lately, I feel like I'm stuck in a big mixing bowl or something.  We'll have a week of good days, then one day that just puts me over the edge, and gets me all frustrated.  Here's what I mean...

Julia is 6 weeks, 2 days old today.  For a good week or more, we had GREAT days.  She was eating every 2-3 hours during the day, and 3-4 hours at night.  Now, while for many people that may not seem like a great trade off, it's better than every 2 hours at night!!!  It sometimes takes her 45-60 minutes to eat, on a 2 hour schedule (up until she was 4 weeks old), that leaves about 45 minutes for me to grab some shut eye before she's up to eat again.  On a 3 hour schedule, an hour, almost 2, and when she goes 4 hours... 3. hours. of. sleep!  Praise God!

So anyways...we had been on this schedule for a couple of weeks.  I would feed her between 8 and 9 pm, a full feeding session, and would put her down to sleep.  She would sleep until 12 or 1 am, get up and nurse a full session again, and go back down for a couple more hours.  It was nice!  Most nights, she wouldn't be up for the day until about 6 or 7 am.  Yeah, I complained about being tired, but I really shouldn't.  Some women have colicky babies that don't sleep, or babies that have their days and nights completely mixed up.  I really am truly blessed to have such an "easy" baby.

Then...we have nights like Monday night.  All day, her eating was erratic.  She would eat anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours apart, and no matter how hard I tried, she would NOT nurse more than 5-8 minutes.  She slept all day except for about 2 hours (most of which was first thing in the morning).  Now, before you go and say "well, that's why you had a bad night", she was doing this a LOT.  She would sleep all day except for being fed, AND all night!  Anywho...back to the bad night.  I decided that when she turned 6 weeks, I wanted to start implementing a nighttime routine.  It consists of a bath, change diaper, change clothes, nurse, go to bed.  I'm going to add in a bed time story eventually, but I want to start it out simple.  We got all of the bath stuff out around 7:30 so we could bathe her at 8.  Well...we had to wake her up before her bath.  Michael got her stripped down and brought her to me.  She generally likes her baths, but her patience runs short close to the end.  We went about finishing her new routine, and she went to sleep...only to wake up about an hour and a half later, wanting to eat.  She ate every.two.hours.  We haven't done that in 2 weeks!!!  I was EXHAUSTED to say the least, and by 2:30 am, she decided it was time to get up for the day.  Wow...ok... so here we are, I'm going on about 2 hours of sleep...IF I'M LUCKY...it's now 5:30 am or so, and I'm now up with my 6 week old daughter.  Michael didn't have to go to work until later in the morning, so I was able to catch a quick 30 minute nap before he left, and Julia was actually asleep.  Yesterday was a LOOOONG day to say the least.

I decided about half way through the day that I was going to start trying to keep her awake in the evening, in hopes of better sleep at night.  I was thinking a little over-ambitiously at first, and was going to keep her awake from 2:00 until bedtime.  That quickly changed to 5.  I can't imagine trying to keep her awake for 6+ hours!  So...5:00 rolled around, I woke her up and started playing with her, tickling her, talking to her, etc.  I wanted to get out and work in the flower bed last night too, so when the first intermission in the Wings game rolled around, Michael and I took Julia outside and pulled some weeds!  When we got back in, I got a bowl of warm water and a wash cloth, gave her a quick wipe down, changed her diaper, put her in her jammies, and headed upstairs to nurse her.  She nursed a full session, and was in bed - asleep - by 8:30.  Why she ate again at 10, I will never know...but she nursed another full session, went back down, and slept until 2!  I got her up, nursed her, changed her, put her back to bed, and she didn't wake up again until 5:45.  Wahoo!  Good night!!!  Let's see if it happens again tonight!

Sigh...here's hoping.  =)

Reality Check

Today I had a hard, strong reality check.  It's still sinking in I think.  I have a new found respect for single moms - and dads - about as much respect as I have for military wives and husbands (more on that subject later).

Today, our little girl decided that she didn't want to go back to sleep after her 3 am feeding.  We tried and tried, but to no avail.  Around 4:30, I brought her downstairs so that Michael could sleep for the last hour before he had to be up to go to work.  Once I got downstairs, I tried yet again to get her settled into a decent sleep.  She fought it again.  So there I was, at 4:30 in the morning, trying to keep my eyes open to watch over my 5 week old daughter.  I couldn't do it.  She ate (again) at 5 am, and I fell asleep at about 5:45 I think.  She fell asleep in my arms eventually also.  I vaguely remember Michael coming downstairs doing his usual routine...I know he came down and said "You didn't have to bring her downstairs, honey."

Anywho...that was how my day started.  Julia did eventually wake me up when she was ready to eat again at about 7.  Then I decided to just be up for the day.  No sense in fighting it any more, right?  By 9 am, my body had enough, and I crashed...HARD...on the couch.  Julia woke me again at 10:30 to eat.  I felt much better by that time.  We carried on our usual routine of feeding-eating-feeding-eating with the occasional bouts of time on the computer.

Here's where the single mom part comes in.  Michael has been working...a LOT (thank God!).  He was helping his aunt for a while, would leave his full time job, go straight to work with her, and wouldn't be home until around 8:30-9 some nights.  That ended last week (or the week before...I can't remember).  I felt pretty much like a single mom at that point too, with the occasional opportunity for taking a shower that lasts longer than 3 minutes!!!  I would take Julia with me everywhere I went (duh) whether I went to Target, my mom's house, her work, wherever.  Today, however, I got to venture to the grocery store with her...alone.  And it wasn't just to grab one or two things.  Oh no...I had to go grocery shopping.  I didn't get everything I wanted, but I got everything on the list.  She started to get fussy after about 30 minutes in the store, but I knew we wouldn't be there much longer.  I just shushed her, and rubbed her arms until she calmed down enough for me to finish up and head out.  On the way home, she cried.  All the way.  Granted it's only a five minute drive from the grocery store, but this was the pissed off, blood curdling, screaming cry that I absolutely HATE hearing.  I started thinking "well, I guess this is what it would feel like to be a single mom".  It was a very profound moment for me...but I guess you had to be there.  When we got home, I got everything unloaded and noticed that she had spit up on the way...I felt terrible.  I felt like I failed her.  I hate that I can't comfort her while I'm driving.  I hate that she got so upset on the way home that she had to cry like that.  I hate that she had to get sick for whatever reason.

I cuddled her for about 10 minutes, nursed her, apologized about 10 times for her having to be so mad, changed her diaper then put away the groceries.  I had wanted to give her a bath tonight, and normally Michael is here to help.  Well, he was still working, and it was almost 7:30.  I got everything we needed - towels, wash clothes, jammies - and filled the tub up.  She wasn't happy about having a bath at all.  By this time, she was over tired, and hungry again.  I bathed her as fast as I could, wrapped her up in the hooded towel, and took her to get a fresh diaper her jammies on.  She peed on me.  I can't say I blame her!!!

Anyways.  I figure this must be what it feels like to be a single mom.  Yes, I saw my husband this morning...for maybe 10 seconds consciously.  I am so incredibly grateful to have him here with me when he's home to help out.  Even if it's just so I can go take a shower, or go to bed at 8:30 so I can survive another day with the little one.

I don't envy single moms or dads.  I applaud them.  They have, quite possibly, one of the hardest jobs that anyone can possess.

And with that, I'm off to bed...right after I finish the cloth diaper laundry.  It's 9:30, my daughter is sleeping, and I should be too.

Good night blog world.  Love your mom, sister, wife, daughter with everything you have.  You never know when it may be gone.

She smiled at me!

Yesterday morning at about 5am, I was feeding Julia.  I went to put her up on my shoulder to burp her (around 5:30am), she looked at me, I said "HI!", and she smiled at me!  It wasn't the typical gas smile...no way...it was a full on, open mouth, gummy grin and I LOVED it!!!  I've been trying to get her to smile at me again, but haven't gotten the same big grin yet.  Poor Michael was jealous!  =)

One Month Today!

So, today is Julia's one month birthday!  Yay!  We're going to get some pictures taken this evening, and I can't wait!

She had an appointment with the pediatrician today too...check this out...
Birth (Mon):  5lbs 2oz, 18"
Discharge (Wed):  5lbs even
Day after discharge:  4lbs 11oz (story on that later...)
2 week appointment:  5lbs 10oz (yes...that's almost a pound in 2 weeks!!!)
One month pediatrician appointment:  7lbs, 19" long!  More than a pound gained in 2 weeks!  Go lil bean!!!

Her weight and height are between the 5 and 10th percentile, but her head...in the 25th percentile!  Yes, she has her father's noggin!  LOL

Sweet

Oooh...New editor!!!  Might take some getting used to, but I'll adapt  =)

I'll have an update sometime...hopefully soon.  LOL  It's pretty time consuming taking care of a baby!  She will be one month old on Thursday.  It's kind of hard to believe!  I got in touch with my artsy side, and here are a couple of photos that I took of her the other day...  =)

Changes.

Wow...it's incredible how much your life changes when you have someone that depends on you 110%. Your life revolves around them - like it or not - whether you're ready or not. I never thought I could love anyone more than I love my husband, but I do. I would do anything for this little life...

On being a paranoid driver...

I don't think I've actually heard a song on the radio in the last 2 weeks, especially when I'm driving by myself. If I hear a cough, I focus in to make sure she's not choking. If she squeaks (which she does frequently...), I freak out thinking she can't breathe. Just last week actually, Michael and I were on our way to get our taxes done. Julia coughed and squeaked a couple of times, and Michael was like Superman getting into the back seat to check on her. I don't think I've ever seen him move so fast. Of course, she was fine...but still!

I am so aware of what other drivers are doing now too. Checking my mirrors a lot more frequently, making sure people behind me are slowing down or stopping fast enough. I watch intersections for as long as I can before going through them...I watch oncoming traffic to make sure that someone doesn't cross the center line towards me. Rarely do I feel "safe" anymore when driving with my little girl in the back seat.

On sleep deprivation...

Thankfully, we're not losing a TON of sleep yet. Julia eats every 2 hours during the day, and close to every 3 hours at night. Some nights, she will actually go right back to sleep after her feedings, and I'm the only one that loses out on about 3 hours of sleep each night. Michael has been wonderful. He'll get up with her if she starts to fuss after I've already fed her, but there are nights like last night, that she doesn't go back to sleep after her 3 am feeding. Those are the nights that I usually spend on the couch, and she sleeps with me. We are NOT making a habit of her snuggling with me on a regular basis though!

On my habits...

I can't even count how many times I have to remind myself to eat during the day. I'm trying to keep my calorie and fluid intake up so that she can eat, but it's really a challenge sometimes! Even getting a shower is a challenge too. I'm working on it though. It kind of blends in with the whole being paranoid thing. If I'm in the shower, and she's in her bassinet, I might not hear her if she starts to choke or something. *Sigh*

Either way...I wouldn't give it up. It's hard. It's stressful. It's trying. It's wonderful.

St. Patty's Day and GREAT weather!

I know it's not going to last, but...WOW it was gorgeous yesterday! And Tuesday...and it will be again today. I'm LOVING the gorgeous weather! Can't wait for it to be nice all the time. =) I missed my St. Patrick's Day post, so here it is...I got this from a gentleman that is also sponsoring in the RCIA program this year. He is awesome for stuff like this...and can answer just about any question anyone has! He's great!

Lorica of Saint Patrick

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
Of the Creator of creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth and His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion and His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection and His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In service of archangels,
In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs,
In preachings of the apostles,
In faiths of confessors,
In innocence of virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea,
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's hosts to save me
From snares of the devil,
From temptations of vices,
From every one who desires me ill,
Afar and anear
Alone or in a multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and evil,
Against every cruel merciless power that opposes my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft or idolatry,
Against spells of women and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.
Christ shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that reward may come to me in abundance.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, in invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the Threeness,
Through a confession of the Oneness
Of the Creator of creation

St. Patrick (ca. 377)

God bless!

The Lil Bean has arrived!!!

Procrastination really doesn't pay off, but sometimes it doesn't even matter!!! I had every intention on having the baby blanket finished before the baby arrived, but I was unsuccessful. I can make it smaller if I want to, but I think I'm going to keep plugging away at it today to see how far I can go. I have another 8 hours or so before I go home, so I should at LEAST be able to finish the green squares...

**WARNING**
Some of this post may be TMI, so proceed at your own risk. =)

Anyways...as you see above, the baby is here!!! Monday morning I got up 3 times between 1:30 and 3:30 am with some gassy pains that started feeling crampy , and the urge to pee...a lot. :-) When I got up at 3:30 to go pee, I noticed that the water wasn't "normal" looking. Being a first time mom, I did what probably any first time mom would do...turned around, squatted down to look, and leaked on the rug!!! I figured it was my water, but wasn't positive because it looked like my plug had come out earlier, and I didn't know if it was "still" coming out. I went back into the bedroom, woke my husband up, and said "Honey, don't freak out, I think my water just broke, I'm going to take a shower. Go back to sleep." He stayed in bed for a bit...awake...but got up around 4:45 after I had told him I was going to call the doc and said "did you call?" I told him I had called the hospital, but not the doc yet. He gave me "the look". Anyways...called the on call doctor, and he told me to head in and get checked out.

We headed to the hospital, and when we got to triage, they checked me out and confirmed that my membranes had ruptured. It was about 6:45 am. My first thought was "Holy crap...this is happening!!!" They monitored my contractions for a bit, and they were anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes apart. I got into the hospital gown, and we headed to our L&D room. I labored there for about 4.5 hours, walking around, breathing through it...waiting...

My birth plan consisted mainly of having this baby naturally - no drugs - and I would ask for an epidural if I really felt like I needed it. Well, contractions started getting pretty intense, but I was handling it pretty well! They came in at 11:30 am to check me, and said that I was 3 cm, 100% thinned, and 0 station. I was stoked. I asked for something to take the edge off though, so they gave me some nubane . I labored a bit more, and by 1:30, the contractions were getting pretty difficult to bear for me. They came in to check me again, and I hadn't made any progress...I was still at 3 cm. I had a couple contractions that were "off the charts" as my hubby put it, and after one long one (about 3 minutes total with dips included) put me in tears I said to him "you better get someone in here...there's no way I can do this on my own." They sent anesthesia in, and they gave me an epidural. Wow...did that help. I don't regret getting it one bit...yes, I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't do it on my own, but I'm ok with it now. :-) 30 minutes later they came back to check me again and I had progressed to an 8-9!!! The pressure I was feeling was almost as bad as the pain I had felt from a couple of the contractions, especially in my right hip/pelvic area. I started pushing at about 4:30, but was having a hard time getting the baby to come down much. After about an hour, and the doc repeatedly saying "Wow, she's strong..." about my pushing, they had to call the OR and have them on standby because the baby kept getting stuck behind my pelvic bone. Once I heard that, I found some kind of super human strength, and managed to get the baby past the bone! As bean was crowning, Michael said "I can see the head"...to which I replied..."No shit sherlock !" Everybody laughed!!! They did have to cut me a little bit too. The head came out, then one more push and the shoulders came out...a couple seconds later I heard..."It's a girl! Time of birth 5:55 pm." I was blown away...I couldn't believe I had done it! She was absolutely perfect and beautiful. She weighed 5 lbs 2 oz, was 18" long and scored 9/9 on her APGAR's . Since the due date they were calculating off of my last period was 3/30/10, she was one day shy of full term, and was considered a preemie. The Little Lady did have to spend some time under the heat lamps because she was having a hard time maintaining her body temp, but otherwise was doing great. She was nursing like a champ, and is absolutely, positively PERFECT. Her daddy and I are absolutely smitten with her!!!

Meet Little Miss Julia!!!

The first night in the hospital, and Tuesday during the day weren't too bad. Julia had lots of visitors, and was just soaking up the attention! Tuesday night was a little more rough. Michael had gone home to get some sleep, so I was there by myself with the little miss. I really didn't mind because it gave me a lot of bonding time with her. She was up for the majority of the night unless she was touching me in one way or another. She wouldn't sleep in her bassinet very well, but would fall asleep the second she was near my heart. Julia decided at 11 pm that nursing every 30 minutes for 3 hours would be fun...LOL I wound up calling the nurse at 2 to have her taken to the nursery for a little while so I could get some sleep. 5:20 am rolled around, and I woke up, went to the bathroom, and headed down to the nursery to get her and bring her back to the room with me. Michael got back to the hospital around 8ish...I think...can't remember exactly. The pediatrician came in to check on Julia, and everything seemed good! Since she was considered a preemie, though, they wanted me to take her back in on Thursday just to follow up with her weight and such. They discharged us Wednesday afternoon!

Going home...

One of the things they wanted checked while I was at the pediatricians office was her biliruben (sp?) numbers. The MIL and I headed to another part of the hospital (peds office is actually IN the hospital) to get some blood drawn. Let me tell you something...Julia was the talk of the town!!! Everyone that walked by commented on how tiny and adorable she is, young and old alike. It was really neat.

The results of the bili levels wasn't that great. She was at an 18.3 which is pretty high so they set me up for a 24 hour appointment to have her under the bili lights. We wound up bringing her back to the hospital...again...and dropped her off at 5:30 to get treatments started. We headed back home to eat dinner with his parents, I packed an overnight bag for me and her, and we came back to the hospital. Her levels have gone down quite a bit! They ran her vitals and checked her levels at 1:30 this morning, and the number had gone down to 13. They checked yet again around 7:30 or 8 I think, and they had gone all the way down to 10.5!!! My baby girl is getting better!!! YIPPEE!

Check out the new shades =)


DIVA!!!

I am so incredibly in love with this little life...I wouldn't trade her for the world.........

The "week late" update

Yeah, I know...I said I would update sometime last weekend, but alas...I failed! Here is the update that should have been posted last week, along with the update for this week. =)

Last Friday (2/26) was my 29th birthday. I took the day off of work so I could chill out a bit. Yeah, me and chilling out lately don't really go together...anyhoo. I got some really pretty flowers and a cute card from my hubby. =)



During the day, I went out and checked out some day care centers for when the little one arrives. I found a place that I really really like. This place is so cool though. I want to go there!!! They have wonderful hours, parent play dates, and a play place that would put 15 McDonald's or Burger Kings to shame!!! We'll see how it works out though. It's relatively reasonable, price-wise, and they have cameras in the rooms...so if I want to see the lil bean, all I have to do is get online! I LOVE that part...and the fact that they keep the infant-teacher ratio to 2-1; much better than the 4-1 at the second place I went to...is 4-1 even legal???

Anyways. That night we went to dinner with my girlfriend, K, and her hubby. Her birthday was on Wednesday (2/24), so it was kind of a joint birthday celebration! It was fun. The food was o.k., but not really worth the money in my opinion. I think I would have been happier with good old Olive Garden...but it's all good. K and I got complimentary ice cream sundaes. =)

Saturday brought lots of shifting, moving, loading, driving, and unloading. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I've known that we needed to "downsize" the living room. So! On Saturday, we loaded up both end tables, the coffee table, the love seat and the entertainment center between my Jeep and my sisters truck, and took it all to hers and moms apartment. We did replace the 2 end tables with slightly smaller, non-glass end tables that have a shelf on the bottom and a small drawer to keep stuff in. Now, we just need to get a smaller corner unit, a new TV, and we'll be all set! The unit we had stuck out probably 4' from the corner, and took up TONS of space. It was pretty much the kind we needed though since we have a flat screen tube TV (BEAST of a thing...). Now, the TV is sitting on the floor. As is the cable box and dvd/vcr. The stuff that was on top of the entertainment center is sitting on a bench along the wall...



I do miss having the coffee table to put our laptops on, but it's totally not that big of a deal! We have so much more room in here now, it's not even funny!

Sunday, we went to church, stopped at Michael's so I could get some more yarn for the baby blanket, came home, ate lunch, made a grocery list, went grocery shopping, came home, and parked our butts on the couch to watch the US play Canada in Men's Olympic Hockey. WOW!!! What a game that was!!! I don't think I left the couch much more than to go to the bathroom 10 times, and eat dinner! Still didn't feel rested on Monday though. Go figure.

Wednesday I had my first weekly doc's appointment. Remember the update that I mentioned freaking out about my weight when I was on the phone with my girlfriend? Well...that 163 came true this time! I'm o.k. with it though. I'm getting to the point that I can really accept what I'm putting on. And, it's not like I'm gaining a TON of weight. I was 36 weeks 3 days at my appointment, and had gained 27 lbs. I really can't complain about any part of this pregnancy. It's been relatively uneventful, and I'm not too uncomfortable...yet. The doctor found bean's heart beat right away, and it was pumping along at 144 bpm! I love that sound... Now, having said all of that...I'm ready to be done being pregnant. Not because I'm miserable, or in pain, or anything like that...I just want to know if this baby is a mini-me, or a mini-Michael!!! Team green is a tough team to be on!!!

And now...the blanket update. I've been plugging away (mostly), trying to get this blanket done before the baby comes. I have officially completed all of the white and cream colored blocks, and I now have 12 green blocks done (2 are not in the pic), so check out the pics!

The white blocks...


The cream blocks...


Most of the green blocks...


The "big block" that I could put together right now...actually, with the other 2 green blocks, I could add another row on 2 sides. =)


And this is a picture of what's remaining...


I timed myself...and one block takes a little more than 30 minutes (I'm still kind of slow with it sometimes, but I'm o.k. with that...), so in essence, I could have all of the blocks done in about 7 hours. I think the whole blanket could feasibly be done in about 12 hours. It's just a matter of me finding the motivation and buckling down.

Good night. It's now 9 pm, and I...am...sleepy!!!

Baahahhahahahhaaa

Ok...this is hilarious...

Update coming...

I will have an update shortly. I didn't get to it this weekend because we were busy the majority of the day Saturday, and I was plugging away on the blanket Sunday (along with watching the Gold medal hockey game...USA vs Canada)! =) I have new pictures of the blanket, and will be including the birthday update.

26 days and counting...

Size Comparison

I was going back through some of my old posts on here, and I think the last time I had a "size comparison" was around 15 weeks. Well...LOTS has changed since then, so I think it's about time to have another comparison!!! Now...clothes make a HUGE difference... I made a point to take the picture Wednesday in the same t-shirt from the 20 week picture, just 'cause I'm a nerd like that =)

About 7 weeks...(oh how I miss those pants...and that body!)


20 weeks...


24 weeks


28ish weeks (same shirt from 7 week pic...lol)


And Wednesday night... 35w3d


And for the record...I FEEL HUGE!!! LOL

I will have another update sometime this weekend. The blanket is coming along nicely, and I want to show you my progress! Also, there will be birthday fun to share. =)

35/35

That's what today is! I've officially hit the 35 week mark, and have only 35 days left until my due date! Wahoo! I can't believe it's so close already...crazy.

As I sit here watching Denmark vs. Germany in women's curling on the Olympics, typing away, and staring at the blanket that still needs to be finished, I just can't keep my eyes off of my belly and the way it keeps shape shifting...I am truly amazed at the journey this little bean has already been on, and I can't imagine how traumatic being born really is!!! I mean, really...you go from being all snugly, cozy and warm, to being forced out into a cold room with a bunch of big people that you've never seen before, two of which you have to trust your ENTIRE life to! Oye!

Anyhoo...time to get back to the blanket.

P.S. If in the future, there are updates of just numbers and nothing else...it's probably my way of saying "Oh my goodness, only 'X' number of days left!!!"

Doctor, doctor, give me the news...

I've got a bad case of lovin' you!!!

LOL Ok, I'm sorry...I couldn't resist. Today I had my 34 week appointment. Really, I'm 34w4d but who's counting? Oh, that's right...I am! It was pretty much 'the usual' from the time I walked in. Weight, pee in a cup, measure the belly, and listen to the bean's heart beat.

I was rather relieved when the nurse weighed me and I hadn't gained as much as I thought. See...I was on the phone with a girlfriend of mine on Saturday, and she asked me how much I had put on since finding out I was pregnant. Now...this was a mid-late afternoon phone call, so I was up for hours, had eaten breakfast, lunch AND a snack. Big mistake! I hopped on the scale and my heart sank. It read 163 lbs. I kept telling myself "it's ok, it's for a good cause" (my norm when I feel like I've gained more than I think I should have). But this...this was 5 lbs in 10 days!!! That's just sheer craziness. So, I stepped off the scale and dwelled with her on it for a few minutes. Hey...if nothing else, I'm prepared for my next appointment, right? Well, when I got on the scale at the office today, I only weighed 160. Still my highest weight EVER, but I'm ok with that.

The nurse asked me if I had any problems or issues, and I mentioned that I had felt a couple of braxton hicks contractions so she said the doc would 'check it out' to be safe, then she took my blood pressure. When the doc came in, he verified the contraction information, and proceeded to measure the growing belly bump. Everything checked out fine! Lil bean's heart is pumping away in the 140's now...Oh how I LOVE hearing that sound!!! I brought up how I've been feeling 'wings' below my rib cage, and how I thought it might be the baby either being transverse, or having it's legs crossed in the head down position. Doc did verify that the baby is in deed, very much so, heads down at this point, and that I'm just feeling a BABY...more than just parts. He said "It's getting much bigger now. Bigger arms, bigger legs, bigger body...bigger all over." Makes sense... :-)

Doc said everything looks great though! I'll be going back again in 2 weeks, and then we start weekly appointments! My next appointment is in March...MARCH!!! The same month that I'm due!!! Yippee!!! Although, I don't think this little one is going to hang out for the next 5 weeks. I'm thinking 3 or 4...but not 5. We will see though!

Anyhoo...I need to shut this thing down and finish another square on the blanket.
Good night blog world.